


Twelve

by Hermaline75



Category: Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: (Does anywhere else have those or is it a weird British thing?), Blatantly ignoring chunks of canon, Christmas, Crack, Eventual Smut, Gifts, Jane and Thor are together at the start, M/M, One could almost say it's a Christmas crack-er, Reunions, Sibling Incest, Warning: Loki, but I didn't want to clog the Jane/Thor tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-02 09:43:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 20,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5243624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hermaline75/pseuds/Hermaline75
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Turns out being dead is no fun, so Loki decides to reveal his continued living to Thor through thoughtful presents.<br/>What could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Gift

**Author's Note:**

> "Hermaline, how on earth are you going to spin this out for 25 days?"
> 
> By writing embarrassingly short chapters, of course! No, but seriously, some of these are ridiculously short, but I hope you enjoy this silliness anyway.
> 
> Merry whatever you celebrate or general merriment to you all. We've nearly made it out of 2015 and it was a pleasure spending so much of it writing.

"Be still!"

His hands were bleeding where he'd been scratched, clothes stained during the struggle. Loki was exhausted, but he had to do this. It was the only way to prove himself, to prove his love. It had been too long in preparation to fail now. He had studied the ways Midgardians displayed emotions and had found a simple-seeming recipe that apparently would demonstrate a promise of truth and faithfulness and all those other things that seemed part and parcel of romance. The kinds of things he needed to prove to Thor.

So, of course, it was damnably difficult to accomplish. He should had guessed really. Nothing here ever worked out as expected.

Thor believed him dead. Which probably explained why he was insisting on living on Midgard, with the humans, as if he could replace his brother so easily. In theory, Loki could have just waited for them to age and die, but that wouldn't be for years, and he wanted Thor back now, before anything else could go wrong.

And at least the humans could be relied upon to explain the code he was using. They had some uses, perhaps, beyond stubbornness.

This first part hadn't been too bad. He had managed to find the right local... herb? Vegetable? It was some kind of plant anyway. The other ingredient, the beast part, was not being nearly so cooperative. He had had to stalk a group of them for some days before managing to separate one from the herd and grapple with it.

It probably had to be alive, he thought. Delivering a dead animal to Thor's door probably wouldn't go down too well. But exactly how he was supposed to combine the two was not clear at all. Should there be some kind of impaling? Pinning? Glue? How should it be attached?

No. The word was 'in'. It had to go inside.

He held the terrified and irritatingly loud animal in one hand and started trying to peel the plant open with the other.

\---

The first Thor knew of his first present was the sound of Jane shrieking in the kitchen, followed by a loud clatter.

"Thor?" she called. "Any idea why there is a tree on the balcony?"

He didn't especially want to get up just yet, but that sounded very odd indeed so he forced himself to wander through. Jane had dropped the kettle and was standing in her thick winter plaid pyjamas pointing out of the glass balcony doors. Sure enough, there was a large, mature tree out there, sprouting several floors up right from the tiles, like it had always been growing there.

"Should we... go out and have a look?"

"Accelerated growth, Thor. It might be radioactive. There's a Geiger counter in the bathroom cabinet. Can you get it for me while I start the coffee? We can do the initial tests and call Bruce if there's anything worth checking. Though it could also be a freak natural occurrence, that's also a slim possibility."

He was starting to learn the words Jane used for various scientific equipment, so different from the ones he had learned in his tutoring on Asgard. And her habit of leaving her tools scattered around the house was quite charming, in its way. Drawers were full of spare parts and different diagrams. There was always something useful around if you could get to it.

Moving several prototype measuring devices aside, he retrieved the right instrument and brought it through, watching as she took a deep breath and opened the door. After a few minutes of waving it in front of the tree, Jane announced that she was pretty sure it wasn't unusually radioactive.

"It's... It's making a noise though."

Thor came up behind her. Sure enough, there was an intermittent, high-pitched peep coming from the trunk.

"There's something in there."

He reached forward automatically, tearing at the point that he thought the sound was coming from.

"There's a join in the bark here," he said. "Look."

It took some effort to rip it open, an almighty crack making Jane squeak in fear, clinging to his arm and brandishing her Geiger counter like a club.

It was a bird. A little, frightened bird. Thor carefully pulled it out, letting it flutter-fall to Jane's floor and flee behind a chair.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. Some kind of grouse by the looks of things. I don't know what it was doing inside a tree though. Or what the tree is doing here."

"You think we should report it?"

She nodded. They were meant to be off duty, on vacation from her research and his duties for a few days. It was typical that something like this would happen.

"You're an Avenger and something weird is happening. That bird might be bugged or a shapeshifter or something. We need to call it in or Maria will come and lecture us again, like with the rabbits."

He was never going to live that down.

"I swear, I had no idea barking rabbits weren't normal."

"I know you didn't. It wasn't your fault. Still. Better safe than sorry."

She smiled at him, probably secretly pleased that a distraction had arisen. She had been frustrated in the last few days by his insistence that taking a break meant no working was allowed. This would be the perfect excuse to get back into a lab.

"Go shower," he said. "I'll do breakfast. And then we'll call."

She stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. If there was one thing he excelled at, it was breakfast.

The bird scurried away from her as she passed. No doubt it would be difficult to catch. Perhaps they'd have to set up some kind of trap.

He hoped it wasn't offended as he broke open a couple of eggs to make pancakes.

\---

Watching invisibly from a nearby rooftop, Loki frowned slightly. Jane had seemed surprised. Why didn't she understand it? She was supposed to have seen this clear and obvious claim, realised that she had no real rights to Thor's heart and graciously stepped aside.

Who knew, maybe she was from a different culture? He'd thought he'd managed to match a relatively common one for the area, but they had so many differing ideas that it was hard to tell who would understand which code.

Maybe it was too early yet. There were another eleven gifts to deliver after all.

He ticked the first one off. The first day in a display of true love - one partridge delivered within a tree of pears.

He read the next instruction and sighed. This was going to take all day to get.


	2. Holly

Agents and their associates never seemed to know what to do when he arrived at SHIELD, whether to approach him in greeting or to flee his presence for fear of imminent disaster. Not that Jane seemed to notice, more concerned with holding the cardboard box they'd trapped the bird in at arm's length.

She casually strolled into the labs, nodding left and right to various friends. She'd known some of them for years. Some of them had gone to college with her. It was often fun for Thor to go with her to these places and beam with pride at how esteemed she was. _Yes,_ he wanted to say. _This is my tiny scientist. Marvel at her intelligence._

"I need a biologist," Jane announced to the room at large. "An ornithologist, if you've got one."

There was a certain amount of pushing and shoving at the back of the room where some unfamiliar faces were stood at benches examining unusual bones. They seemed like newcomers. Fresh meat, Thor thought the phrase was.

Eventually, a young woman with thick, spiralling hair seemed to lose their little dispute and stepped forward, clearly feigning confidence.

"Yes, Dr Foster," she stammered. "I assume that you've brought a specimen?"

"Yes. Can we go somewhere less exposed? It took us ages to catch it and I don't want it getting loose."

"We decided not to electrocute it even slightly, for fear that it might explode," Thor said helpfully.

The woman looked at him with large, brown eyes and he tried to smile reassuringly. It was odd that some humans were frightened of him. He tried so hard not to be threatening. Then again, perhaps wariness was better than the reactions of those who swooned in his presence, which was flattering but highly inconvenient.

She gestured and led them to a smaller room, made entirely of glass, where Jane handed over the box, which was making distinctly indignant noises.

Their new friend took a deep breath, bracing herself for the monster within before lifting the lid.

The bird tumbled out onto the table, where it was quickly scooped up and examined closely.

She frowned, fixing them both with a cool stare.

"Is this a joke, Dr Foster?"

Jane blinked, her mouth dropping open.

"Of course not, Dr... Er..."

"Holly. Call me Holly."

"Holly, this bird appeared outside my home in a tree that grew overnight."

"So it landed on a tree. Bit of an odd species for New York, but nothing sinister..."

"It was physically inside the tree!"

"Can you tell us what kind of bird it is at least?" Thor asked, trying to diffuse a little scientific tension.

Holly sighed.

"A partridge. A slightly bedraggled and stressed but otherwise totally normal partridge."

The word meant nothing to him. Jane frowned slightly, as though something was nagging at her, just at the edge of her thoughts. She set her jaw firmly.

"I want every test you can run on it done. All of them, no matter how trivial. I'll come and observe."

They did everything possible. The poor bird was scanned and x-rayed and sampled for every known disease. Thor felt sorry for it. Surely it had been through enough. He insisted on holding it between tests, very gently, stroking its little head carefully with one finger.

"There's nothing strange about it," Holly said after hours and hours of tests, easily rushing them through because Dr Foster had demanded it. "It's a healthy partridge. A little food and peace and it will recover very easily."

Jane pouted. She was still uneasy about this.

"So someone caught an apparently normal partridge and put it inside a tree that materialised outside our home. What kind of maniac does that?"

\--

What kind of idiot puts a creature into a song that's not even native?

Loki had hunted and hunted but found no trace of his next quarry. Perhaps it had been driven to extinction by the humans and their seemingly relentless quest for love. Yes, that could be it. That made sense.

Well, never mind. He could easily make his own from the raw ingredients.

Bringing an harmless endangered species back to life. Midgard would appreciate this. They would be grateful, surely. It would demonstrate his new lack of threat towards them. Yes, no doubt it would be hailed as one of their... what was the phrase? A Christmas miracle?

It didn't require too much effort to get into Jane's bathroom and place the next gift carefully on the tiled floor, wobbling slightly and bumping into one another. After watching for a moment, he decided to put them in the bath for their own safety.

Well, no wonder they didn't exist anymore if they were so stupid.


	3. Turtle/doves

Jane was a little nervous all evening, convinced that there was something obvious here that they were missing.

"It's familiar to me," she kept saying. "It's like I've heard of this before, the bird inside the tree. I just don't remember what exactly it is."

No amount of cuddles seemed to soothe her and as usual when she'd had a troubled night, she got up early, heading for the shower.

He heard her switch the bathroom light on, then off again and her footsteps coming back.

"Thor," she whispered. "There's something in the bath."

"Is it a spider again?"

"No, it's... It's like nothing I've ever seen before."

And that was worrying. Jane had seen more than most humans, what with inter-realm travel and her access to the weird and wonderful in SHIELD's labs. He took Mjölnir with him to investigate, concerned about what sort of creature he might find.

There were two of them, little grey beasts that were cooing happily together, their wings propelling them up and down the bath, skidding on their shells as they occasionally pecked at invisible marks.

"I'm not sure what they are," Thor said carefully. "But I like them. They're charming."

"They're adorable," Jane agreed. "But we need to call it in. Birds don't generally have exoskeletons. And usually their feet don't... bend like that."

Thor watched as one of them managed to tip itself onto two claws which protruded from the opposite end of the shell to its head. It only managed a few tottering steps before falling forward again, unbalanced and ungainly. He scooped up the new arrivals, far more easily than their other feathered friend, while Jane called the lab.

"I'm calling for Holly," she was saying. "Ornithologist Holly. Yeah, that's the one. Well, can you get hold of her for me? Tell her it's definitely not a joke. What? Oh, it's, er... It's some kind of... pigeon. We'll be in soon. Thank you."

Holly was a little reproachful when they arrived, yawning and eyes smudged with last night's make-up.

"It's my day off," she said as explanation. "I was expecting to sleep a while longer. But I suppose pigeons can't wait."

"Not these ones," Jane said, pushing the cooing box across the table.

Holly took the lid off, stared for a moment, and put it back on again.

"Alright," she said, holding her hands up. "I get it. This is some kind of... SHIELD hazing, isn't it? What, the physics department like to get together and make fun of the new biologists? What's next? A mermaid made from a monkey and a dolphin?"

"I swear," Thor said, a little surprised by her sudden hostility. "We mean no disrespect. You have skills and knowledge that we lack. Please, help us. We do not know where these creatures came from."

Asking for help when needed? Admitting his own limitations? Thor could think of two very dear people who probably thought this day would never come.

"Are you serious? Yesterday, you brought me a partridge and today you've shown up with what appear to be turtle/dove hybrids. Too obvious."

Jane gasped.

"Oh, my God," she said. "I know what this is. Oh, why didn't I see it before? It's the Twelve Days of Christmas."

Thor waited politely for an explanation, but none was immediately forthcoming. She picked up one of the shelled birds, examining it.

"Turtle... doves. Wow. Alright, so it's someone who takes everything literally. The partridge physically inside the pear tree and now this. Can we get them out of the shells, do you think? They can't really walk or fly, they just propel themselves along like... Well, like turtles do, I guess."

"I'm not sure," Holly said. "I think they might be... you know, attached. Integral."

A few x-rays confirmed it. These were the first and only two of an entirely new species. The shells incorporated their spines and ribs. Breaking them open would probably kill them.

"They don't seem to be in any pain," Holly said afterwards. "They seem quite happy, actually. I see no reason to do anything to them."

"What will happen to them?" Thor asked.

"Oh, they'll go to the SHIELD Sanctuary for Weird Things. Don't worry. And I'll be here tomorrow to examine your chickens."

Thor frowned slightly as he followed Jane out. What chickens could she mean?

"I think we should call Pepper and see if Stark Tower can take a couple of house guests," Jane said. "Someone is targeting us. It would be safer to be somewhere a little more secure, but I don't like the idea of SHIELD protective custody for Christmas if I can avoid it."

"I still don't understand quite what's going on. What is the significance of these creatures.?"

Jane sighed gently.

"This is going to sound really strange..."


	4. Pepper assembles the Avengers (for Christmas)

"And a partridge in a pear tree..."

It was a pretty song, about love and gifts and faithfulness. They were unusual gifts perhaps, but then again Midgard was often an unusual place.

Pepper was very pleased that they wanted to visit. It would be like a really weird family Christmas, she said. She was going to call the others and see who else had no plans, despite Jane's concern that they were a security risk.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" she asked over and over again. "There might be a lot of birds."

"Oh, I'm sure we'll be fine. It could even be fun what with everyone together to help deal with it."

And the tower was certainly an impressive sight at this time of year. Thor enjoyed the festive trees with their twinkling lights and it seemed that Tony went all out for that particular tradition. It was at least twelve feet tall, and well underway to being decorated when they arrived.

"Jane, Thor," Pepper said, greeting them at the door, wearing some gold tinsel like a feather boa. "Back me up here. We are not having a small Iron Man topping the tree."

"Why not?" Tony's voice echoed down from somewhere around the upper branches. "Virginia Potts, are you suggesting that I am anything less than an angel?"

"I'm suggesting that we have a very nice, tasteful tree topper that would do just fine."

It was said fondly though, a little smile on her face. Sometimes it was tricky to tell if arguments were really arguments, but not in this case.

"So who will be coming to join us?" Thor asked.

Pepper poured them both a large glass of some kind of warm punch before counting the expected guestson her fingers. Let it never be said that Stark Tower wasn't welcoming.

"Natasha's on her way already, Sam and Steve will be flying in early tomorrow, Rhodey will be in and out as usual, Clint is still to get back to me and Bruce is in the middle of something so unfortunately can't come. I invited Wanda and she's thinking about it, but she's pretty busy at the moment. I put her down as a firm maybe."

"And you've told them what's going on with us?" Jane asked as Tony landed, peeling off his repulsors.

"Better," he said. "I've set up an incident board. Steve's gonna be so impressed."

It was a large whiteboard with a picture of Thor and Jane attached at the top, an empty box marked "Suspects" and rather artistically drawn representations of the twelve expected gifts. Well, eleven of them. At six, Tony had simply written "TERRIFYING HELL BEASTS."

"Any idea who's doing it?" Pepper asked. "Any leads?"

"None at all," Thor admitted. "And I must admit, I assume it's for Jane."

Jane choked into her punch.

"What?" she spluttered. "It's clearly for you. It has to be. Very few humans could do the kind of genetic modification that made the turtle/doves. I think it's far more likely to be an Asgardian or some other alien at least. And you've met more of them than I have."

"But I did not know the song," Thor pointed out. "Why send me a message that I wouldn't understand?"

"Well, don't worry," Tony said. "We'll find them. But, hey, they don't seem hostile at least. That makes a nice change. So for now, I think we can relax about it and wait for further developments. Cheers."

They had a very pleasant evening, especially when Natasha arrived with Clint in tow. They were almost always in good humour. This had been a wonderful idea and Thor went to bed very tired but very happy indeed. Between them all, surely they would get to the bottom of whatever was going on.

He was woken up early when something sharp pricked his chest and opened his eyes to find a fat orange bird looking down its beak at him.

It tilted its head quizzically to one side, as though appraising him.

"Bonjour."

Hmm... This probably wasn't normal.


	5. Loki and the chickens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to publicly apologise to any francophone readers I may have for this chapter and the next. Sorry. I've forgotten more French than I ever knew.

Imagine Loki's surprise when he traveled to Jane's dwelling only to find it locked up and dark. They'd gone somewhere. And he thought he could guess where.

Sure enough, he discovered them in that wretched Tower place, the building that should have been his seat of power on Midgard. No matter. He had one far better now. Or at least... No, he had it, that was beyond question. It was his. It was all his. But admittedly something was missing.

It had taken him months to figure out what it was, months when his pride would not allow him to confront the truth he secretly knew.

Winning was no fun if no-one knew you had.

And Asgard was so troublesome, a complete nightmare to rule, so inward-looking that what was happening just beyond its borders went ignored, no matter how great the threat. It was maddening and of course he had to be subtle in his changes. "Odin's" grief could only explain away so much. It wasn't exactly going to allow him to bring in a whole new foreign policy, as he believed such things were called.

He needed Thor back in Asgard where he belonged to take the credit for these decisions. They could rule together as king and regent. And, yes... Maybe really he just wanted Thor back in general. Maybe he wanted a little genuine affection in his life. What's wrong with that?

They hadn't slept together since the week before Thor's coronation. Oh, how his heart had burned that night. Thor murmuring in his ear about how he couldn't wait, how excited he was, joking that he would make Loki his queen. And Loki had rolled his eyes and indulged him and pointed out that it was always the queen who controlled the throne, so really Thor ought to get on his knees and start serving. Ooh, and hadn't he just? The memory of Thor's lips wrapped around his cock had got him through many a lonely night since then.

He wasn't sure when they'd fallen for each other. Some time around adolescence. A few lingering touches, a building of tension that finally spilled over into an unexpected kiss, a stammered apology, Thor's hand on the side of his neck to pull him close and kissing a second time.

"I feel the same. Norns, I do. I love you. I love you, brother."

How he longed to hear those words again.

"C'est vachement froid."

"Putain, je ne peux pas même tourner!"

"MES OEUFS! Où sont mes oeufs?! Quelqu'un a volé mes oeufs!"

"Tais toi, tu n'as pas des oeufs."

"Mais bien sur, j'ai des oeufs!"

Loki groaned. This one was the worst yet. It had taken him an age to find the correct nation and they had all laughed at him or become aggressive when he demanded an answer as to why the birds didn't speak. Then he'd had to enchant them to speak instead and now they wouldn't shut up...

Why the humans considered this an acceptable love gift was quite beyond him.

The birds continued their chatter, forcing him to lay a silencing spell on them to last until the morning. The least he could do for Thor would be to let him actually sleep.

Avoiding the external cameras was easy enough, even if finding a suitable room was difficult and prising a window open harder still.

"Right," he said, holding up the cage he'd brought them in. "Tell him that I love him. That's all. Nothing else. Tell it to the big blond. You can't miss him."

They blinked at him, black beady eyes. It was unclear whether they understood or not.

Loki sighed. Humanity was clearly doomed. No species could be trusted to know about the wonders of the universe if this was their idea of communication.

He pushed them into one of the communal areas, watching for a moment as they attempted to roost on a leather couch.

Stupid birds. Stupid humans with their stupid song.

Stupid fake death...

Right. Next?


	6. Target identified

"Je l'ai trouvée, le grand!"

"Mais non, c'est moi qui l'ai trouvée."

"Tu as trouvée mes oeufs?"

"Mais non!"

"Er, guys?" Steve's voice called from the next room. "Are you hearing this?"

He was standing on a chair, staring at the two hens that were running around him squawking out an argument. Thor was holding the third, its feathers puffed out and somehow managing to look like it was smiling smugly despite having a beak.

"Mince, il y a deux..."

"I only just arrived and then... this. I don't know why they're taking such an interest in me."

"What are they saying?" Jane asked.

Steve frowned. "Something about finding someone? Should we... talk to them?"

"Steve, they're chickens!"

"What language are they speaking?" Thor asked. "The Allspeak is translating for me."

"French. Three French hens. I've never understood that line to be honest. Were chickens from France particularly good or sought after or something? Please will someone tell me what they're saying?"

Thor put his chicken down on the coffee table and sat on the floor to interrogate it.

"She says that they have been sent with a message of love for a big blond man."

"Well, that explains why they're after Steve," Jane said. "And also it means that I was right. It is for you. Can they tell us who sent them?"

"My true love. That's all they'll say. She says that's all they're allowed to tell me."

Jane looked unsure. Upset. But not surprised and that made him worried.

"Well," she said. "You round them up and I'll call Holly. There's probably a French ornithologist would leap at the chance to actually talk with some birds "

Steve's eyebrows were sky high as she left the room.

"You two having issues?" he asked, stepping down from his chair and scooping up one of the balls of orange feathers that were still scampering round him.

"In what way?"

"Well... Someone claiming to be your true love is bringing you the whole Twelve Days of Christmas shebang, calling themselves your one and only, and Jane is... She's resigned to it. I used to know girls who would flip if their boyfriend so much as mentioned their ex, and vice versa. And while I guess Jane wouldn't be like that, the lack of reaction is weird, right? Like she feels she can't compete with... whoever is sending you all this and should just give up."

Thor sighed.

"Jane is a fine companion and has been a good friend to me."

"But? I mean, we're running towards a but, right? Come on, you know you can talk to me."

"But... We are so often apart. And that is difficult sometimes. And when I talk of my past, of how old I am... I think it scares her."

Steve patted him on the shoulder, one chicken clutched under his arm.

"You know I worry about age gaps too. I am over 90 now after all. Then again, I slept through most of it. But it can be difficult to find common ground sometimes "

Thor forced a smile and got the last bird, penning them on the table with his arms.

"Any idea who it could be?" Steve asked, half changing the subject.

"No," Thor said. "There's no-one springing to mind. No-one alive anyway."

"Yeah. I know how that feels."

Thor had to admit that he was very grateful that he could call Steve his friend. Their experiences were closely matched. They had both seen war, they knew what it was to be a symbol to their people, they had both lost someone very dear to them. Without him, Thor felt he might be even more alienated from the rest of their comrades.

Sometimes he had to remind himself that Steve was not somehow prince of America.

Still, he was right. Jane's reaction was a little worrying. He would try to talk to her about it later, in private.


	7. Pragmatism, thy name is Jane

"Do you want to just stay, Holly?" Jane asked when she arrived to collect the francophone hens. "At least for the next... Er... four days? It might be more convenient and there's plenty of room."

"Thanks, but no. I'm staying with my mom and my sister's in town for once. Barely seen her over the past few years and not even spending the holidays with the Avengers can compare. I'll come get your birds though. Same time tomorrow?"

"Probably."

Jane was markedly less animated during dinner that evening, and Thor knew why. He'd seen that face before, on other people.

The face of someone who thought they were being lied to.

"I promise you, Jane," he said later as they prepared for bed. "I don't know who it is."

She looked at him, startled, halfway into her pyjamas.

"I didn't ask."

"No, but... But you think that I will leave you for...whoever it is."

And now she sighed, her little ribs rising and falling, so many cares falling out of her body as she yanked on the other sleeve.

"Thor, we... You and me, we can't be forever. I know that. Ever since we got together, I've known that this was temporary."

And now he was the one who was startled, frowning, lost.

"You... What?"

"You're a thousand years old. You're going to live to be five thousand. I'm going to live to be eighty. There was always going to be a time where we'd have to separate. It would be too painful to keep going for one or both of us. Either I'd be sick of how youthful you still were, or you'd be scared of my aging. It's OK. I came to terms with it. I just didn't expect the break to be so soon, that's all. But...there's someone out there, someone like you, who is trying to put on a big show of romance for you. Maybe it's time we stopped being partners and agreed to be friends instead."

He sat heavily on the mattress, his mind reeling. Of course, he had thought of the future and how their relationship might develop, but...

"Thor? Are you alright?"

Her tiny hand on his shoulder, so small and fragile. She was small and fragile, all over really. He turned his head to the side to brush his lips against her fingers.

"Yes. It's merely a heavy thought. But I fear you are right. The circumstances are not...ideal, not what I would have chosen."

There was a few moments' pause, her thumb running idly back and forth against his skin, a little comforting gesture.

"I think it's better this way," she said softly. "We haven't been at our best for a while. This way, no-one gets hurt. Or, at least, it's a mutual hurt. Equal."

He couldn't help but agree, even if his heart was heavy.

"So will we... Will we tell the others?"

"In the morning," she said firmly. "Tonight I think we can share a bed and brainstorm people who might be in love with you."

Love. What a strange thing it was. A feeling, a yearning, an agreement and then choosing every day to honour that agreement, to willingly be a team, an 'us', to fight for that relationship.

He'd never given up on a relationship before, not as such. There'd been the occasional explosive argument, or unfaithfulness, or...

Or death.

"So," Jane was saying. "Who was your most serious relationship with? The one that got away?"

Could he tell her? They were friends now, just friends. And friends confided in one another, they shared the load of secrets. He trusted her more than anyone.

"Thor?"

"He's dead. It... We..."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you don't understand. It was Loki."

There was a momentary pause before Jane leapt from the bed.


	8. Common Knowledge

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

That hadn't been the response he was expecting. Jane was shaking and pacing, a little ball of shock.

"Oh, my God, it all makes sense," she said. "It all makes sense."

"What does?"

"You! Your whole... thing. You didn't... We weren't together until after he was dead, were we? I kissed you that first time in New Mexico, but you didn't kiss back. You didn't kiss me until after he died. You were staying faithful to him. And that's why you forgave him - AGAIN. You love him, you've always been in love with him. God, Thor, don't you see that none of us are safe?"

"What? What are you talking about? He's dead, Jane. I... I'll admit it, I wish with all my heart that he wasn't, but you were there. You saw him die."

She whirled to face him, suddenly still.

"No. I met Loki only briefly, but I've read the reports, the files. And top of the advice list is not trusting what you see. We _thought_ we saw him die. That's different."

Thor frowned slightly. A list of methods to deal with Loki? That would have been useful growing up.

"What's second on the list?" he asked.

"Let him talk. He loves it and it buys time. But that's not important. Don't you see? It must be him. Who else could do think kind of thing? The turtle/doves, the talking hens, those are highly advanced scientific or magical feats. It has Loki written all over it!"

They hadn't heard anyone approaching, but the door suddenly opened, making them both jump.

"It's one in the morning," Natasha said evenly, arms folded in the depths of a fluffy dressing gown.

Jane deflated, flopping onto her side of the bed.

"I'm sorry," she said. _"We're_ sorry. Just... I think we know who's doing this."

"Jane," Thor said, warning. "Don't."

He could see it now. They'd be disgusted. Jane would be too, once the shock wore off. Loki was not just their enemy, which was bad enough, but his brother. His little brother. You were supposed to love your siblings, but not the way they did. The team would banish him. They'd hate him. He wasn't sure he could bear that.

"If he's getting into our home. He's getting past Tony's alarmd. We're all in danger," Jane pointed out.

"If he wanted to hurt us, don't you think he'd have done that already?"

Natasha laughed suddenly.

"Oh," she said. "So it is Loki. You know, I had my suspicions."

This couldn't be happening. Thor gaped at her, sure that he would soon be waking up and of course, none of this had really taken place. Maybe he'd been dreaming for days and would wake up safe at home with Jane and with no birds flying about the place.

"How did you know?" he asked helplessly before he could stop himself.

"It's in the file. Clint's intel from when Loki was camping out in his head."

"No, I read that file and there was no incest in it," Jane said. "And I would have remembered that. That's a pretty big thing to forget."

"You read _A_ file. We keep the juicy gossip back. It's the reward for gaining higher clearance."

Thor was adrift. This was his biggest secret, and apparently known by at least two of his friends and who knew how many SHIELD agents.

"Who knows?" he demanded. "Who?"

She shrugged.

"Me. Clint. Fury, Maria. Probably Steve. I don't know. We're spies. We don't exactly discuss what we have and haven't read. That would kind of defeat the purpose."

For some reason, the idea of Steve knowing was the worst. He could deal with everyone else, but the idea of Steve being disappointed or disgusted made him burn.

"However," Natasha continued. "I'm with Thor. If it is Loki and he wanted to harm us, we would have been harmed by now. And on that basis, I think we should all get some sleep and we can discuss it in the morning."

She was making sense. Of course she was.

And, of course, that would give him time to examine what exactly the thought of Loki perhaps being alive was doing to his heart.

He hadn't felt these flutters for a long time. Which was not to say that he did not love Jane, but that was a gentle, comfortable, homely love. It was the kind of love he could have happily settled down in. Loving Loki was maddening and mind-blowing, hurtful and incredible. Addictive. And Thor was, indeed, addicted even though he thought it might kill him one of these days.

All those years together. Sneaking around, sneaking touches, kisses. How quickly Loki had learned to drive him wild, that he could make his knees weak with just a word, just a look. But Thor could do his fair share of teasing. Taking his shirt off whenever possible, just to watch Loki stare and squirm.

And then the pain when Loki learned the truth, when they both did, and when he fell, and then coming back from the dead so different and yet so very, very the same.

Could he have done it again? Left Thor screaming and weeping in Svartalfheim and slipped away? How did he feel about that? Angry? Yes, a little. But overjoyed too. It was confusing.

And the thought of facing his team-mates in the morning - later this morning - was making him feel a little sick with worry. How would they react? Could this be the last night he would spend as an Avenger?

His joy and fear wrestled until he fell asleep.


	9. There Is No Silent Mode

Thor knew about ringtones. They seemed to be quite a bone of contention among the humans.

And therefore he knew what the awful sound that was rudely bursting into his consciousness so early in the morning was. Even if he'd had a good night's sleep, this would have been irritating.

He met most of his friends with their hands over their ears, seemingly too exhausted to be angry just yet. Clint was conspicuously absent, but Thor had noticed previously that he seemed able to sleep through almost anything.

"Calling birds!" Tony yelled. "I applaud the originality, but could it not have waited?!"

"How do we turn them off?" Pepper now. "Preferably without hurting them?"

The first task was rounding them up. Four very small birds, some kind of finch by the looks of things, flittering wildly all over the living room and nearly impossible to get close to, even though with the amount of noise they were making, sneaking up on them ought to have been easy.

"I'll get Clint!" Natasha shouted after fifteen ineffectual minutes. "Net arrows. And then we can talk about the mutual friend Jane thinks might be causing this."

"Mutual friend?"

Thor sighed, though no-one heard him.

"She thinks it's Loki," he said.

"Pardon?!"

"She thinks it's Loki!"

"I can't hear you."

"LOKI!"

\--

From his vantage point a few roofs over, Loki's carefully enchanted ears could pick up everything the Avengers were yelling while dampening the cries of the birds. So annoying a sound - surely a far greater proof of love would be getting rid of them.

So Jane had figured it out. He was a little irritated that Thor had not come to the right conclusion himself, but then again he had always fallen for tricks. It was practically habitual now.

There seemed to be some degree of shock about the true nature of their relationship. This wasn't surprising. All of Asgard would be shocked and appalled by it. And yet some of them seemed to know already. Barton, of course, would know of it. And therefore the captain and Agent Romanov. But the others...

"What do you mean, Loki's doing it?" A different man, one he did not know. He seemed to be particularly attached to Rogers. "Isn't he your brother or something?"

"Yeah, and isn't he dead?" Stark now. "I'm sure I remember that being a thing."

Thor was glancing around, checking for who all could hear him as he was forced to shout really rather loudly about incest. It was a deliciously funny situation, for Loki at least.

"I believed him dead, yes. But Jane is right, he could have manufactured a situation in which he appeared to die but now be regretting it. And there is no-one else we could think of who could do this kind of thing and who would be interested in me. In a... romantic manner. Because that is how we were once. Loki and I were lovers."

"Oh, so... So you and him, you...?"

Stark seemed to be using some kind of sign language, expansive gestures that Thor was frowning at.

"What exactly are you asking me?"

"You know... You guys have gone at it?"

"Gone? Gone where?"

"To heaven and back."

"No. I do not know of this place. Is it a rite of passage of some kind?"

"No, I mean..."

"He wants to know if you had sex," Jane said, her voice sharp and brittle, no doubt over-tired.

Thor performed an impromptu but excellent impression of a goldfish.

"That's private!" he managed to stammer eventually while Loki laughed.

Oh, Thor. Never could manage an out-right lie out loud. A distortion, an omission, yes, but a flat denial of truth? Never.

"Well, that wasn't a no, buddy..."

And how sweet it was to see Thor squirm for a change, to see the mask torn off for them all to see and for him no escape from it. How they must despise him, must judge him now...

"Is he good? As a sexual partner I mean?"

What in the nine was Stark going on about? This was not the reaction Loki had expected. Perhaps it was some form of shock.

"I would really rather not talk about that..."

"Oh, come on. I mean, few people have the sort of confidence he has if they don't know the people they take to their bed are satisfied. And that trick where he makes copies of himself? What I'd give to be able to do that. God, he must be a demon. Maybe that's why he thinks he deserves worship..."

"Tony," his lady hissed. "Now is not the time for... for sex philosophy."

"What? I'm just saying!"

"Well, don't! This is serious. And we can't talk about it with all that noise. I can't even think straight, let alone take this in."

It took them several hours to round up the birds and hand them over to the long-suffering animal collector they seemed to have employed to take care of them. All the while, Thor tried to dodge questions about their history, flushed as red as his cloak. 

Leaving them to collect the next gift, Loki took stock of the situation as best he could.

Thor knew. Or at least, Thor suspected. But that was enough. How did he feel about it? His embarrassment at discovery had not allowed any other emotional reveal. Was he glad? Angry? Forgiving?

The last time they'd seen one another, he had seen Thor's anger at his past actions extinguished. Could his return, the revelation of his lie, so unexpected, flare it up again?

There was no way to know. He'd just have to wait and find out.

And he had learned one interesting thing while eavesdropping - Jane Foster had brought her relationship with Thor to an end, citing inevitability. And neither of them seemed overly upset. A little, certainly, but it seemed to be broadly amicable. Maybe... Maybe then Thor would welcome him back.

Could it be? Was Thor's heart performing the same strange panicked dance as his?

He couldn't deny hoping that it was.


	10. FIVE GO-OLD RIIIINGS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel with this chapter I should bring up [that one part of an Eddie Izzard show](http://youtube.com/watch?v=s5iu_JNvPII) which is not really relevant, but is all I think about at this part of the song.

Heimdall eyed Loki with some disdain when he arrived back on Asgard for the first time in days. He'd feigned a sleep, leaving the council in charge. Surely they could not do too much damage over twelve days.

And of course, Heimdall knew, knew all of it, the brothers' little secret and the true identity of "Odin" these days. But he was king and not committing treason and so the watcher was powerless against him.

"How fares Thor, majesty?" he asked, the title always tinged with a hint of sarcasm. "Are you close to winning him back?"

Loki smiled at him, still smug about taking the throne right under everyone's noses. Even Heimdall had not realised until too late that the real Odin had been securely slumbering for months while Loki reigned in his place.

"There are yet eight more gifts. Which is why I am here. I know what I need."

Raised eyebrows, barely visible behind his helmet.

"Really? What creature is it now?"

"Not a creature, thank the Norns. I need to take a brief excursion to the vaults. Excuse me."

The sword was held at his throat in but a blink.

"You know I can't let you do that, Prince Loki."

Loki rolled his eyes, pointedly pushing the blade away.

"Not the weapons vault. The gold vault. Five gold rings, that's all. How much damage can they do?"

\--

Thor felt like he'd been explaining himself for eons. He was exhausted. Jane had gone to bed hours ago, yawning and dragging her suitcase to another room.

Reactions to the truth had been... mixed.

Sam kept muttering "adopted" under his breath as though trying to convince himself of the fact.

Steve seemed resigned, shrugging and making an indifferent face whenever consulted.

Natasha didn't think it much to write home about, though Thor could practically see the jokes she was preparing for the rest of his life behind her eyes.

Clint had no issue letting his jokes out. It seemed to be a coping technique for him to talk about how SHIELD had tried to extract useful information from his injured mind and mostly found themselves in possession of something called "POV hardcore brotherfucking." Thor understood the last part, but not the rest.

Pepper was politely pretending none of this was happening.

Which was in direct contrast to Tony whose questions practically tumbled over one another in his haste to ask them.

"So which of you did it? Who made the first move?"

"I don't know. He did, I think. But I made the second one. And that's how it started."

"And is that OK on Asgard? Or is it a royal thing? They're all inbred, aren't they?"

"It is not commonly accepted, no."

"Ooh, secret brotherfucking. Is he as kinky as he looks?"

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. His spine is not remotely crooked."

"No, it means, like... You know, like is he all into being tied up and spanked or whatever?"

"Erm..."

The explosion was as welcome as it was unexpected.

They heard Jane scream and Thor sprinted up the stairs, bursting into the room where she was sat up in bed, the floor marked with the unmistakable burn patterns of the Bifrost.

"Was he here?" Thor asked immediately. And then a little guiltily, "Are you hurt?"

"No," Jane said. "No, I'm OK. And I don't... I didn't see him. Just the light and the noise and then... Five gold rings."

Thor could feel the gazes of his friends as they looked at what indeed appeared to be five entirely normal gold bands.

"Well," Clint said. "We know he's done with subtlety and sneaking around. We're back to big gestures and things on fire, interrupted string quartet recitals..."

Thor strode forwards, uneasy now.

"There's only one being in the realms who could do this," he said, inspecting the ceiling before bellowing.

"Heimdall! Open the Bifrost. Let me know what's going on."

\--

"Don't you dare," Loki said, standing behind the gatekeeper as Thor raged.

"Loki!" the voice echoing across the cosmos. "I know this is your doing! When I get my hands on you..."

He couldn't help but laugh and laugh.

\--

"...you'll not know what hit you! I'll..."

He was suddenly aware of how many people were watching him yelling at his supposedly dead brother-slash-lover across space.

"Jane," Pepper said, trying to be proactive. "How about we move you up to one of the other rooms?"

"Yes. I probably shouldn't stay here, just in case there's something weird about them."

"I agree," Clint said. "I mean, normally I'd be like 'How can wedding rings hurt us?' but this is Loki we're talking about after all."

They all looked at the rings again, worried despite themselves.

\--

"You were careful exactly which rings you were sending down there, weren't you?"

Loki span in the doorway to the observatory.

"Ought I have been?"

"Just a thought, sire."

Loki narrowed his eyes slightly, suspicious that a joke was being made at his expense. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to investigate further.


	11. Advice and Science

"Um..." Sam says, entering the kitchen. "There were only five rings last night, right? I mean, I don't want to worry anyone, but either he's been back or I need an eye test."

Sure enough, opening the door to the abandoned bedroom revealed thirteen rings where there had been only five.

But this was not right. There were only meant to be five. The song said so.

"Thirteen," Jane said. "What relevance does that have? Unlucky thirteen? Is it a warning, do you think?"

"I doubt Loki would give a warning if he were displeased," Thor said thoughtfully. "No. I am not sure what this is."

"Well, if you don't know then we'd better be careful. We don't know if these rings are... I don't know. Dangerous? Cursed?"

"Jane, are you suggesting that we might have to drop these rings into a volcano?" Sam asked. "Because I'm OK with that. I will totally do that for you."

Thor pouted slightly.

"They are Asgardian and I will take them back to Asgard once my brother stops blocking my path."

He glared upwards, not even sure that Loki was listening.

"But you are right," he continued. "We must make sure they are not in any way harmful to humans."

Jane was almost skipping as she went to get a protective suit. Unknown technology of alien origin to play with? This really was Christmas for her. Sam and Thor were left feeling a little awkward. Thor felt that they didn't know each other very well and yet he had had to reveal some rather intimate truths.

"So..." Sam began. "Your brother, huh?"

Thor sighed. He didn't have much to say.

"You think if you get back together he might...calm down on the whole universal domination thing?"

"I can only hope."

Another silence and then Sam patted him on the shoulder.

"Well, who am I to judge what two gods get up to in their down time? He clearly loves you, in his way. His terrifying over-literal way. And wow, man, you really are built like a brick wall. Steve was not kidding."

Thor found himself nervous again. Sam and Steve were friends, good friends, perhaps they might have discussed...

"Has he said anything to you?" he asked abruptly. "Steve. Has he told you what he thinks?"

"About you and Loki? No, he's keeping his opinion to himself."

"Which means he is disgusted."

 _"Which means_ he thinks it's none of his business. Think about it - he's known for ages. He has clearance. He reads all the time. He's read the file. And he didn't treat you any differently. Why would that change now?"

"Now I know that he knows. And he knows I know and..."

Sam smiled at him reassuringly.

"Nah, he's cool with it. Well, not cool, but he's come to terms with it. He's not going to kick you off the team or anything, unless you go off the rails and start trying to take over Earth or something. You haven't let your feelings affect you detrimentally. Neither will he."

Their conversation was interrupted by Jane appearing once more in one of the special outfits the humans wore when dealing with concerning substances. She carefully picked up the rings with tongs, one by one, placing them on a tray. Thor followed her down to the lab as Sam left them to visit Tony's gym, curious about what tests she was going to run.

Twelve of them were perfectly ordinary rings, but the thirteenth...

"Oh, my God."

"What is it? Is it bad?"

"This one is... It's sucking in energy from all around. Lots of it. It's like a mini-black hole almost, or a really powerful solar panel that somehow... sucks. It's taking energy from the lights, the heat from the air and it even..."

"What?"

"I think it's breathing. It's taking in oxygen like it's metabolising. I've never seen anything like this. I'm going to need Tony down here, and we should call Bruce too."

Thor tried his best to understand what they talked about, but the All Speak could only do so much with their primitive terminology so he was generally confused.

Bruce squinted at the data, joining them by video phone.

"Sure, it's taking in energy, but it's not converting it to anything," he said. "Solar panels make electricity. What's it making?"

"Are you suggesting that it made more rings by itself?" Jane asked. "That's..."

"What?"

"I was going to say impossible, but then I remembered that they were apparently teleported into my room through an Einstein-Rosen bridge. And if Asgard has a constantly renewing gold supply... Well, their architecture makes a lot more sense all of a sudden."

They seemed to decide to place them under observation and Thor found himself feeling decidedly troubled.

Why were they doing this for him? They knew now, they knew the truth, and yet they had not evicted him or shown their disgust. Why?

Because they were his friends. And he was grateful for that, but still felt a little lonely.

His bed felt overly large and empty, needing more weight on the other side. In a fit of desperation, he tucked Mjölnir in beneath the blankets. It was almost enough to simulate a body lying next to him, especially with the slight warmth coming off her.

"Goodnight, Loki," he said to the ceiling. "I love you."

Unfortunately, Loki was a little busy and didn't hear.


	12. Under Siege (or close enough)

Clint rolled his way past the head of the corridor, old tricks from his circus days still coming in useful. Up ahead, he could see Natasha shaking, shuddering in panic, gripping his arm tightly when he drew close enough.

"It's OK," he whispered. "I think we're safe."

They were both completely still, listening for any trace of their enemy. After a few minutes, Nat moved off again, her footsteps silent, checking behind every door.

"We weren't trained for this," she muttered. "Not even I was trained for this."

They crept together, down and down, following the trail but always aware of ambush. They were outnumbered. If they were caught unawares, it would be a bloodbath.

On the ground floor of the building, they heard it. The most terrifying sound in the world. A scrabbling, a thump, those terrible cries...

"My God," Natasha whispered. "They're coming up from the basement."

At the first sign of feathers, they fled.

\--

As far as Loki was concerned, this was easily the worst so far. He'd become complacent with the rings and now the universe was paying him back with these monsters.

They had sharp bills lined with tooth-like serrations, immense strength, tongues made of abrasive flesh. How Midgardians had managed to subdue such creatures was anyone's guess.

And he had to find some that were pregnant.

Did birds even get pregnant?

\--

"What's the situation?" Steve asked, meeting them mid-retreat.

"Six hostiles emerging from the sub-levels," Clint said. "No sign of eggs yet."

"Did you check thoroughly?"

"If you want to go down into the dark and check then be my guest, Mr Super Soldier."

Steve sighed.

"Where's Tony?"

"Hiding," Natasha said. "I know, the guy's survived so much and it turns out he's phobic of geese. Literally can't say boo to a goose."

"Hey," Tony's voice echoed from the tower's PA system. "It's not a phobia if it's rational. They can break your arm you know."

"That's swans. We're not dealing with them. Yet."

"Don't remind me, Romanov. Anyway, I will be your director today. Please keep your extremities safely out of goose beaks at all times. FYI Jane and Sam are on the ground floor trying to sneak bird people in to subdue the current threat, Pepper is here in the panic room with me and after seeing what we're dealing with today, Thor is back in his room and yelling at the ceiling again."

"Do you really want us to hunt for eggs?" Steve said.

"Think of it as early Easter."

"But what are they going to do? They aren't being sat on. They're not going to hatch without incubation."

"Holly wants them found. She's a bird person, she doesn't want them hurt. That's why we inexplicably can't have weap..."

The pause went on for just too long.

"Tony? Tony, come in?"

"You can stop hunting. Thor's found them."

\--

Thor was glaring upwards, daring Loki to come down and face him in person, when he first heard it. A tapping and a high-pitched peeping sound coming from his bed.

His bed where he had left Mjölnir safely tucked beneath the covers.

He hesitated as he reached out for the blanket, carefully drawing it back to reveal six yellow balls of fluff, cheeping insistently at him.

"Hello?"

Twelve little black eyes behind little black beaks looked up, rushing towards the edge of the bed. Concerned that they might fall, he carefully transferred them one by one to the floor where they milled around him, pecking at the rug.

He took a step and they followed him. Frowning, he crossed the room and watched as they formed a line and gave chase. He went back and forth a few times, slightly non-plussed by these actions.

They followed as he left the room and he couldn't bring himself to close the door on their little faces, ending up leading his little procession along the corridor and into the lift to head to the ground floor. Surely one of the Midgardian scientists would know what to do about this.

Holly's eyes widened and jaw dropped when he stepped out to meet her and the others, six caged geese waiting to be loaded into the van behind them.

"They, er... They were laid in my bed and kept warm by my hammer and hatched," he said apologetically as one of the goslings climbed onto his foot.

"Well," Holly said. "Congratulations. You're a parent."

"I... What?"

"Baby geese, they imprint. It's a survival technique. As far as they're concerned, your their mother. It would be cruel to separate them from you. Don't worry. They'll fledge in six to nine weeks."

Thor gazed down at his new feathered children in disbelief.

"Hey," Tony said from the loud speaker. "Does that mean these goslings are now second through seventh in line to the throne of Asgard?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my significant other who romantically asked what I was looking so wistful about one morning and I had to admit that I was thinking about Thor as a goose papa.


	13. Comfort and Question

"I'm not ready to be a father," Thor murmured, sitting on the floor carefully watching over his new charges as they ate the grains and grasses that Holly had helpfully provided him with.

"Well, I think they're less complex than human babies," Jane said. "Or Asgardian ones probably."

"Do you want children?" he asked, curious suddenly. They hadn't ever discussed it. Now he came to think about it, if Jane knew they couldn't be forever, maybe she'd already made that choice.

"I don't know," she said. "Not yet anyway. Probably got a few years left to decide. And I doubt my kids would be anywhere near as cute as these little guys."

Thor smiled at her. They were adorable. He could at least agree with that.

"I know nothing about how to take care of them though," he said. "Such creatures are strange to me. I didn't even know what they ate."

"We should watch Fly Away Home," Clint said through a mouthful of toast. "It's like Goose 101."

The goslings somehow scrambled up his legs and onto the couch during the movie, falling asleep on and around him. And even Tony agreed to watch, even though he felt the idea of being followed by geese sounded more like a horror film than a delightful family drama.

"Doesn't that girl look like Rogue?" he said about twenty minutes in.

"Who?"

"Oh. Er. Doesn't matter. Just a girl I met once."

Thor found himself enraptured. He couldn't help but be fascinated by the humans sometimes, their sense of will and determination. The same emotions that drove this young woman to find a method to help her birds migrate could be found in Jane's love of science, Tony's engineering, Steve and Sam's campaign for truth, Wanda's search for her place in the world after terrible loss, Pepper's drive for success, Clint and Natasha's well-honed skills.

They were amazing. They truly were.

Migration shouldn't be an issue. He could fly after all. Surely just a route map would be sufficient to allow him to lead them to the right area.

No, what was surely going to be more of an issue was that they would take some weeks to grow and become ready to fly and for that time, he had to stay on Midgard. And when Loki arrived...

He could not have foreseen this and was no doubt either laughing or raging at the fact that he had accidentally given Thor dependants. It would not be right to leave them, but nor could he take them to Asgard.

And he was sure now that Loki was indeed living there. He could not have brought the rings from anywhere else. So many questions flooded his mind.

Was his 'death' deliberate or had he survived by chance? How had he got home? Had he walked back through the passageway? Or had he called on Heimdall and begged to go home? What did Father think on all this? Did he know what Loki was doing, what his actions signified? Did he know of their true relationship now? And what of that? Were they disinherited now, was that what had happens?

There was so much he needed to know and wanted to say.

That night, the goslings carefully carried and deposited next to his bed, he gazed up at the ceiling as though it might have answers.

"I wish you would appear before me," he said softly. "I miss you so much."

He almost managed to convince himself that he heard Loki's reply.

"Not yet."


	14. Rhodey, shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Pepper in a towel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Yes, that chapter title is a Veggie Tales reference, I'm so sorry. I saw it one time in the company of an under-five and the Hairbrush Song was indelibly burned into my brain.)

As far as Rhodey was concerned, the tower looked entirely normal. Nothing wrong at all. Big showy Christmas tree, big showy lights, same as usual, and of course he knew the pass code to get in. You don't spend years as Tony Stark's best friend without knowing that sometimes it's a good idea to check on him.

But heading up to the right floor, he was shocked to hear Pepper scream loudly, setting off at a run to find out what was wrong. After all, there was talk that Loki was in town. What if he'd just been lulling them into a false sense of security and was now launching an attack?

He shoved his way into Tony and Pepper's bedroom, surprised to find her standing in a towel and shaking.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"The bath... It's in the bath..."

"What? A spider?"

"No. No, a swan."

Rhodey crept forward, bracing himself, and cautiously pulled the door open.

He closed it again immediately.

"That's, er... That's a swan alright. Where's Tony?"

"Getting breakfast. But this is only one. There'll be seven of them."

"And how many bathrooms does this place have?"

"Two on each floor."

He groaned. Fouteen floors, so twenty-eight bathrooms to search for swans.

He'd chosen the wrong day to show up...

\--

Loki couldn't decide which was worse, these or the previous day's gift. At least he'd only had to deposit them once. This was far more dangerous.

He'd magically penned them in the lift to begin with, enchanting the whole building to be silent for several hours while he worked. It wouldn't do to have anyone woken by running water or quacking after all.

One bird under his arm and striding with purpose, he managed to sneak through the sleeping chamber of Mr Stark and into his adjoining bathroom. Yes, this would do nicely.

The bird pecked at him in a highly annoying manner as he filled the little bathing pool and scooped it in, getting a little damp in the process as the wretched thing flapped its wings angrily.

One swan a-swimming. Six more to go.

\--

"Well, once again, he's not exactly hiding," Steve said. "So he knows we know it's him."

"The way Thor's been yelling at him, I'd be amazed if he'd missed that memo."

They were looking over the security camera footage, which covered most communal areas if not actual bedrooms and therefore clearly showed Loki's route through the tower.

Thor thought his heart might burst. He had to stop himself reaching out and touching the screen, as if somehow he might reach Loki through it.

There he was. Alive. Moving. Standing outside his room and resting his head against the frosted glass.

So close and yet so far. Of course, he'd known it was Loki, but to actually see him? It was amazing. A gift.

"You're all remarkably calm about this," Rhodey said. "He broke in. He went into your rooms while you slept."

"Yeah, but he didn't do anything except drop off some swans," Tony said. "If he'd actually been a threat, the alarms would have gone off."

"Would they? How can you be sure? Have you tested them against magic?"

"They'll work."

He still didn't seem sure, but Thor didn't have much thought to spare for that. He was busy making plans while they herded the swans out to the van that Holly had brought from the bird sanctuary.

Loki had been so close. No doubt he would return that night with the next gift.

Which meant if he stayed awake for it...

Standing outside his room, the goslings peeping and scurrying around him, he tried to convince himself that he could see the mark where Loki's head had rested on the glass.

After a moment to check there was no-one watching, he carefully leant his own on the same spot, thinking about old times when they had pressed their foreheads together and been as close as it was possible for two people to be.

Yes, he would stay up tonight and catch Loki in the act and then...

Well, then could wait.


	15. Interlude

He didn't want to tell the others of his plan. No doubt there would be attempts to talk him out of it, or to stay up with him. No, this was something he had to do alone.

And of course that also meant waiting for the goslings to fall asleep, leaving them huddled peacefully around Mjölnir as he set off through the tower.

Where would Loki arrive from? Surely the ground floor tonight - after all, he was meant to be bringing cows and they were rather large beasts by Midgardian standards according to the imagines Thor had seen.

He crept down to the lower level, trying to hang back in the shadows and not be noticed from outside. If he was spotted too soon, surely Loki would flee before they could talk.

\--

Loki ought to have anticipated an ambush by now. And really he ought to have got into habit of checking on Thor's whereabouts before strolling into the tower, even if tonight he was merely there to determine if there was enough room for eight women and eight of these cow things in the foyer.

But he hadn't checked and so his first warning that he wasn't alone was Thor's hand on his shoulder, spinning him round, a look of utter surprise somehow on his ridiculous face. Like he hadn't dared to hope this could really happen.

"Loki!"

"Thor?"

\--

Only just resisting the urge to crush him to his chest, Thor felt a little sob escape.

"I thought you dead. Again."

Loki blinked at him.

"Sorry. I'll try harder next time."

And this time he laughed despite still being close to tears, planting a hand on either side of Loki's face and pulling him into a desperate kiss.

No finesse. No coordination. Just passion and need.

\--

His knees were buckling, his spine like jelly, so tempted to swoon into Thor's embrace and never leave again. He leant heavily on him but wasn't surprised at all when Thor eased them to the floor, allowing his hands to roam as though checking he was really there.

"I missed you," he whispered and Loki gasped to hear it out loud, pushing Thor onto his back and moving to straddle him, kissing back to stop any more confessions.

\--

It was the hardest thing in the world to drag his lips away from Loki's, but Thor had too much he needed to know.

"What happened? How did you survive? Where have you been?"

He frowned when Loki shushed him, pressing a finger to his lips.

"I will tell you everything, brother. I swear it. But not yet. Not when there are yet five gifts still to come."

"No. Come back to me now. I love you. I need you, I... I did not know how much until I knew you yet lived. I burn for you, Loki."

"I haven't finished the ritual. Twelve days - twelve gifts."

"Ritu...? It's not a ritual. It's a song."

He felt the chuckle against his chest.

"And you think songs have no power? I do this for us, brother. To prove myself. To promise that I will be true and honest with you once more."

"I am convinced."

"But I am not. I set myself this task and I shall finish it."

\--

A teenie white lie, but it seemed to be enough for Thor. The truth was that he had worked so hard on the gifts so far that he wasn't about to let a little kissing distract him from finishing the project.

Even if said kissing made fire rush through his veins. It had been so long. His body thought that it had found home, here in Thor's arms, and had no intention of leaving without a fight.

For a start, almost without his permission, his hips were rolling against Thor's and the two of them were starting to pant and gasp, resuming their kiss and swallowing each other's moans.

Yes, there was Thor's cock growing hard in his breeches, his hands sliding lower, shoving Loki's coat aside to grip his hips, pushing him down firmly to make him keen and then one hand was trying to slip into his trousers and...

"No."

\--

Thor had to concentrate hard to think through the fog of lust in his head.

"No?" he said, drawing his hand back. 

"Not yet," Loki whispered. "But soon. I promise, when you've had all your presents, then we can do this."

Thor whined.

"But you're the best present I could ever imagine. Back from the dead and safe and warm and incredible..."

Loki shut him up with a kiss again. Old habits die hard.

"If you wait, I promise you, I will make it so good. Every fantasy, every dream will pale in comparison. I swear it. But you must be patient, big brother."

Thor made one last-ditch attempt at making him stay, grabbing his arse in both hands.

"I don't want to be patient."

Loki chuckled and squirmed out of his grasp.

"Alas, you don't have a choice in the matter."

Thor pouted at his retreating form.

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too. And five days is nothing."

"Four and a half?"

But Loki had already vanished.

Thor lay on the floor for a moment, as though he could will Loki back again through sheer stubbornness, before getting up and waddling into the nearest bathroom to deal with himself.

The gleaming tiles were not the most fitting of situations, but that couldn't be helped. His cock was straining to be free and he gasped at the first touch of his own hand, wishing it was Loki's and thinking of all they would do together.

_He would grow to know Loki's body intimately once more, would relearn every dip and curve, every spot that made his brother cry out or moan._

_"Brother," he would whisper. "Oh, Thor, please."_

_"What do you need, Loki?"_

_"In me. Oh, please, deep inside me."_

_"My fingers? My tongue? Would you have me kiss you there, is that it?"_

_"Your cock. Come on, Thor. Nice and hard like I need it."_

_But he wouldn't obey that command. Not at first. No, at first he would be so gentle, he would tease Loki open so carefully, and slide home - yes, home, where he belonged - and wait until Loki was almost sobbing with need before speeding up, making up for all the separation._

_He could almost imagine the clenching of Loki's sweet little hole, so warm inside, so perfect, his cries growing louder and louder until he came begging Thor to spill inside, to make it deep, to mark him and then when they'd recovered he'd have Loki fuck him and leave him dripping, both of them claimed so clearly by the other and..._

He grunted as he spilled over his hand, biting back the urge to cry out Loki's name.

Five days were nothing, he thought, leaning against the wall.

So why did they seem like an eternity?


	16. Got milk?

"So..." Tony said the next morning. "Someone was busy last night."

Thor carefully pretended not to hear, studiously staring at the goslings who were pecking seeds from his hand.

"Was it a prearranged rendez-vous or unexpected?" Tony asked.

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked, flicking the waffle iron into life.

"I'm talking about checking for cows on the CCTV monitor this morning and instead finding several minutes of dry humping between our little nighttime visitor and the object of his affection."

Thor was glad that the three of them were the only ones present. The cameras... He'd forgotten about them in the heat of the moment.

"I surprised him," he admitted. "I was trying to talk with him, to persuade him to stop this nonsense and come back to me."

"Can't do much verbal persuading when you're doing the lip-lock tango. How much do you think Romanov would pay me for that footage? I think she's always been a little curious about the kinds of things Barton saw."

Tipping his remaining seeds onto the floor, Thor stood up, rising to his full height.

"Do not jest, please. You may have no shame, but I do. What you saw were private moments. Kindly refrain from teasing me."

"You do know you just invited me to tease you forever?"

"And of course I will not be responsible for Loki's actions should he discover that you viewed him thus."

It was an empty threat. Of course he would not allow Loki to harm his friend. But he wanted to nip this in the bud before it went any further.

"You wouldn't like it if it were you, Tony," Steve said, whisking eggs.

"Please, everyone and their mother has seen questionable footage of me. But I was only kidding. You know I wouldn't really do that to you, right? Your secret's safe with us."

Thor nodded grimly, appeased, laying a hand on Tony's shoulder as a mark of gratitude.

"I'll say this though, Thor, it was pretty hot."

Steve groaned.

"What? Can't a guy tell his buddy that he looks pretty great in a specific situation?"

"Hmm? Oh. No, it's just we're out of milk."

"I cancelled the milk. Come on, man. It's the eighth day of Christmas. We're about to be bathing in the stuff."

As if on cue, Pepper burst into the room, buttoning a pale blue suit jacket with her hair slightly askew.

"They're here," she panted pointing to the window. "And they're causing a scene."

Obediently, the three of them looked outside, finding the road outside blocked by a procession of cows all being lead...

"Are those French maid outfits or am I dreaming this?" Tony asked.

"They're extremely skimpy French maid outfits with built-in milking stools and everyone assumes this stunt is on you so for God's sake put on something smart and help me with damage control!" Pepper said without taking a breath.

"Duty calls. Don't worry - I'll have a still-warm pint sent up for waffles."

Thor gazed out of the window in despair.

"This is exactly the kind of thing I was hoping to avoid," he said. "Those poor women... I hope Loki thought to place a warming spell on them. It is too cold for such clothes."

Steve patted him on the back.

"Don't worry. Tony and Pepper will spin it somehow. Besides, it could be worse, right? I mean, assuming no-one gets a chill, this is harmless."

Thor realised that this was the first time he'd been alone with Steve since the revelation. Or since he'd learned that Steve had known for some time.

"I'm... I'm glad that little seems to have changed between us," he said haltingly. "I... I was worried."

"Well, it's none of my business really..."

"But he's... He's an enemy. Or was. I'm not sure what his aims are now. He murdered your friends. He committed such awful crimes and he is my brother on top of that and..."

"And you love him. Look, Thor, I might not understand the nuances of your relationship, but I know how it feels to get someone back. I wouldn't want to take that from anyone. And, well, if anyone might be able to help Loki kick his stabbing habit, it's probably you."

"Or at least I can provide a distracting target."

They laughed a little awkwardly, quite fortunately interrupted by Rhodey.

"Thor," he said, turning on the large television that dominated the central wall. "You've gotta come shake my hand. This is the funniest thing I've seen all year."

He'd put on the rolling news, a live broadcast of Pepper and Tony several floors down, her smile seeming tense and forced, his all-too breezy.

"That's right," he was saying. "From now on, we will be paying an extra five cents per gallon of milk used in Stark Industries. It doesn't sound much, but when you think of all those engineers' lattes, it does all add up."

"We're delighted to be able to support the dairy industry," Pepper said. "By paying quite a lot above market rate."

"Ms Potts," a reporter called. "What about the... er... costumes being worn by these young ladies? Are you not upset that your partner is so fond of such outfits?"

"Well, I'm not here to discuss our private life."

"Besides," Tony said. "I had to make sure they were obviously maids. How better to demonstrate?"

Rhodey was shaking his head in disbelief as the reporters suddenly panicked as they was a stranger attempt to enter Stark Tower blatantly.

"What's that?" Tony said. "Oh, don't worry. That's just our friend Wanda. Come say hi, Wanda. Check out the milking. Remind you of the beautiful pastoral fields of home, huh?"

Wanda's glare could have set light to paper.

"How would I know?" she asked. "I lived in the capital city all my life. This is the nearest I've ever been to a living cow."

"You see? New experiences for the young, courtesy of Stark Industries."

Pepper made a gallant attempt to keep smiling, even though she was clearly mumbling apologies to Wanda and threats to Tony under her breath.

\--

Loki was in hysterics.

He couldn't deny being intrigued by this latest member of Thor's little team. She had powers that he had not seen in any other human and that made her very interesting indeed.

But more than that, this chaos... This appealed to him immensely.

What gifts were left?

And how could they be used to cause the maximum amount of fun?


	17. The Wisdom of Wanda

Hopefully the journalists couldn't hear the debate raging as the impromptu press conference ended, the women and their cows leaving only several buckets of fresh milk behind.

"I can't believe you asked me if I used to be a milkmaid..."

"I did nothing of the sort."

"Well, you implied it."

"It was a calculated piece of spin."

"Oh, that's what you're calling it?" Pepper asked, sounding just a little frazzled. "Because it sounded to me like uncharacteristic cultural insensitivity."

"Which will be all anyone remembers, therefore making them forget all about the eight maids a-milking and then we don't have to answer questions about certain supposedly dead Norse gods coming back with added incest."

Wanda blinked for a few moments.

"What are you talking about?"

Clint patted the seat next to him.

"Hey, how's it going, Wanda? Happy Hannukah and let me fill you in on what's going on here. So a few years ago, there was a big ol' invasion attempt, aliens and so on, led by one Loki of Asgard, brother and secret lover of everyone's favourite electric blond with the hammer. I happened to know about this little secret because he climbed inside my brain and used it as a space hopper, accidentally dropping memories everywhere, meaning I got to know more about my new team-mate than I needed to right away. But anyway, we defeated him with the power of friendship and short circuits and everyone was happy. He then got taken to Asgard, imprisoned, released due to some kind of elf-related trouble and was apparently violently killed. Or so we thought. But, somehow alive, now he's decided he wants his brother/lover back and has launched a pretty ambitious wooing campaign involving the twelve days of Christmas taken to their highly illogical extremes. Oh, and Thor is now surrogate parent to a bunch of geese. Have I missed anything?"

"A gaggle," Sam said.

"Pardon?"

"Collective noun for a group of geese. A gaggle. He's daddy to a gaggle of geese."

Wanda took her time to digest the news, frowning just a little before turning to Thor.

"You know, when I entered your mind, I felt great sadness in you and a great secret."

"Well, we all have those, surely," he said.

"Not ones several hundred years old. Not ones so raw with emotion as yours. But I suppose you live so much longer than us. You have longer to feel things."

Thor was conflicted. Wanda had also lost her brother and it was something he had desperately wanted to bond with her over, to speak with someone else who would understand. But he had carefully avoided mentioning Loki in his team-mates' presence. So many of them yet carried scars he had given them, for all that they were cavalier and quick to jest about their traumas. He had killed so many innocent people. It was difficult to reconcile their love with that fact. 

"So," she said, as though sensing his discomfort. Which she probably was. "What gifts have I missed and which are yet to come? I'm only vaguely aware of the song."

Jane started the tale and Thor was happy to let his friends tell it between them, idly teasing the goslings by walking his hands around them, not even noticing that he'd been asked a question.

"Pardon?"

"When the gifts are finished, what will Loki do? Have you any indication?"

In a perfect world, the second the gifts were all delivered, Thor was going to whisk Loki off to the nearest comfortable surface and show him physically how much he had missed him.

"I expect he will answer some of the questions I have," he said instead. "Where he's been. Why he decided to reveal himself now. What has and has not changed between us and whether we can go back to something like how we were before any of this ever happened."

He was self-consciously aware that Loki might be listening and took a deep breath.

"Maybe if we have another chance, we will be more gentle with one another's hearts. Maybe we will talk more."

An accusation? Perhaps. But one he thought they shared equally. Maybe they could both try to be better now.

When Wanda patted him on the back later, he felt like a new understanding had risen between them.

"I'm sorry," he said uselessly. "About Pietro."

"You know how it aches," she said. "And I am glad that your pain is over. My own will fade a little in time. I know that it will. I am jealous, I admit, that you have your brother back, but I am not resentful if your happiness."

Thor tried not to shiver as her words brought back such strong memories.

_Sometimes I'm envious. But never doubt..._


	18. "Private" Dances

It really was rather fortunate that Thor was finding ethical ways to be rid of his gifts, or at least most of them. It meant Loki was able to plan these last few as temporary arrangements. And that was far easier than the kidnapping and coercion that he had envisaged. No. He would simply pay fairly for services rendered. Such a thing was an incredibly human arrangement. Thor ought to be pleased.

"I require some dancers. Today. Nine of them."

The man behind the counter looked at him in some alarm, which was odd as Loki had carefully made sure to dress in Midgardian style.

"Erm," he said. "Sir, we're a theatre, not an agency..."

"I do not require agents. I need dancers."

Blinking. Why were they so slow?

"Where can I purchase the services of nine female dancers?"

And now he brightened. Clearly that question had made sense. He must have said the right code word.

"Right, _services._ I got you. You want to go three streets over, turn left at the intersection and find Pandora's Box. Big pink sign. You can't miss it."

Loki laid a ring on the counter as thanks - the vaults coming in useful at least - and set off for his next destination, ending up challenged by two well-built men. Nothing compared to Thor of course, but large for Midgardians.

"We don't open till five. The girls are rehearsing."

Loki stared at him in disbelief, but held himself back. Civility. Control. Proof that he could be gentle with the humans.

"Rehearsing? But I have not yet employed them. Nine dancers, today, how much?"

"Look, if you want a private show, you've got to come back later."

Frowning slightly and tempted to thrash this man for daring to speak to him so, Loki dug into a pocket.

"How much for a private show in a place of my choosing today?"

"Holy shit," the other man said. "Is that real gold?"

\--

They showed him in and called for the manager, who was a small and rather dowdy woman. A pink drink in a strange flat goblet was brought and wide smiles were displayed all around as he sniffed at it suspiciously.

"So," the woman said. "A private dance today?"

"It's for my brother."

"And what a lucky man he is. Where would you like the show?"

"Outside Stark Tower. I trust you know where that is."

Her smile faltered a little.

"Out... Outside? In the cold?"

Ah, yes. The milkmaids had complained of a similar predicament when he had approached them.

"The stage will be heated," he said calmly. Or rather, he would provide a little magical bubble from the cold.

"I see. Well. Would you like to pick your girls from our line-up, perhaps watch the routine...?"

"No. Nine dancers. The dance itself does not concern me and nor do their faces."

"The costumes then?"

Hmm... Perhaps he would like to choose those. The woman was delighted to show him into the basement closet, but seemed vaguely confused when he strode past the wisps of lace she tried to show him first.

No, he had seen something far more suitable. Green blended with red, an excellent representation of his and Thor's colours blending.

"These."

"Are... Are you sure?"

"Certain. These ones. I expect the performance in two hours. I will pay in advance."

All her protests vanished when Loki laid a few hundred gold rings on her bar before taking his leave.

\--

For a short time, Thor thought that perhaps there was to be no gift. Perhaps Loki had changed his mind and decided to cease this ridiculous 'ritual'.

But no. It was just late. And at two o'clock in the afternoon, the music started, prompting frowns from Sam and Steve and a look of sheer terror from Pepper as she ran to the window to look down for a moment.

"Tony!" she yelled, rushing from the room. "Put on a suit. We've got stripper elves!"

Thor was up instantly. Elves? Surely Loki would not have kidnapped citizens of Alfheim to dance for him, even though they were renowned for their skill with the arts.

No. These were humans by the looks of them, resplendent in green and red and... dancing in a very unusual and provocative manner.

"Those are not elves," he said.

"Christmas elves," Sam tried to clarify. "It's a kid's thing."

"This is for children?"

"The story, sure. This? No, this is definitely for grown-ups."

It was a show for him, and so Thor watched, admiring the technique of the ladies, how they moved to the rhythm and gave a very obvious message.

Red and green combined with very sensual moves. It was a very clear statement of intent, of passion and desire for them to be reunited.

"I don't need any more convincing," Thor mumbled, looking now into the crowd that had gathered, sure that Loki might be among them somewhere, in disguise no doubt.

\--

Looking like an ordinary Midgardian, Loki half listened to Stark and the woman who seemed to be his handler explain the show away as a gift from a grateful client or something.

He was too busy looking several floors up, trying to spot Thor and gauge his reaction, finding him almost glaring and risking a smile and a wave.

Thor seemed conflicted, rolling his eyes slightly but smiling all the same. Yes. He'd understood. Excellent.

And hopefully his good mood would spill over into the next day as well.


	19. Worry time with Jane

"Thor!"

Jane's hiss from outside his door accompanied by frantic knocking woke the goslings, making them peep in alarm.

"Come in," he said, a little sleepily. 

It had to be very early in the morning, his mind barely alert. Once upon a time he would never have allowed himself to be so undisciplined, but sudden calls to arms were few and far between these days.

Jane burst in, dressed in her fluffy pyjamas.

"We... There's a problem," she stammered. "I couldn't sleep so I was watching the 24 hour news and... Do you know about the House of Lords?"

He frowned.

"Is that some kind of villains cabal?"

She laughed, not what he was expecting.

"Sorry. No, they're part of the British government system. And twelve of them are missing. All from separate parts of the country, no other connections, just gone. Last seen boarding a chartered jet from an air field in Hampshire, destination unknown."

"You suspect Loki."

"No, I know it was Loki, the question is why twelve of them? He only needs ten. I'm worried... What if he makes them 'leap' out of the plane? They're old men mostly. That much excitement could kill them."

Thor considered this.

"No, I cannot believe he would do that," he said. "All the people involved so far have been handsomely paid for their trouble. They will have agreed to this. And it will take place near to us, that I might see."

"That's what I'm afraid of. SHIELD are already suspicious. Something this unusual, they're already preparing to deal with mind control or psychosis-inducing drugs or terrorism of some kind. And I just don't understand why twelve. It's not like he might... lose a couple, right?"

Thor rubbed his eyes.

"It will not be long before we know, I imagine. Unless Maria is about to come and demand explanations, I do not see the point in worrying. You should go back to trying to sleep."

She stayed though, hovering awkwardly until he patted the end of his bed in invitation for her to sit.

"I just... I'm worried about you," she said. "This is a lot to take in and you haven't really had a chance to process it."

She had a point, he supposed. Certainly he was still getting used to the idea of having Loki back. Alive was one thing, actively pursuing a return to their old intimacy was quite another.

"It is a lot," he admitted. "But I am coping. I will be alright."

"Are you sure? I mean... Look, I just don't want you to get hurt. Or for you to accidentally hurt Loki. He's done some awful things to you and I know you love him, but I just worry that you haven't had time to really process the betrayal. I don't want you saying you forgive him before you're properly ready."

She meant well and so he forced a smile.

"I must also think on what I have said and done to him, Jane. At our parting, I had sprung him from prison while denying even our brotherhood and promised death or a return to his cell as his only options. It is no wonder to me that he chose another way. He is reaching out to me in love. What can I do but answer?"

Jane was nodding, like she really believed him.

"He... He did save my life," she said. "I remember how shocked I was that he would do something like that. Especially now when I know that I was his rival."

"He knew I wouldn't forgive him if he allowed you to die. You are important to me, Jane. You taught me much during my first brief spell on Earth. Without you, I may never have regained my worth. But Loki... He has been with me for so long. I have to believe that this is true and right. I need it to be so."

"You don't have to explain it to me. I understand. And we'll always have Paris, as they say."

He didn't ask for an expansion on that, even though they had never been to Paris. She seemed to take comfort from it.

And he did feel the loss when she bid him goodnight without even offering a kiss on the cheek. But then again, no doubt such an affectionate action would be inappropriate between them now.

Another thing to get used to.


	20. Loki Leaps into Nostalgia

Pepper called a meeting in the mid-morning. A highly professional affair. There were hand outs and a short presentation and everything.

"Alright," she said. "The news thinks we have twelve rich elderly British men coming our way, so here is my plan to explain all of this away. They have come as part of a publicity stunt to announce a new charitable venture by Stark Industries encouraging greater political engagement."

"OK," Clint said. "But how are you going to explain the British part in the middle of New York?"

"Well, because Lords a-leaping. And because no-one seems to have a good reason for why Britain has them except the fact that they always have. But that's not important. The point is that we have to be ready for visiting dignitaries at any time."

It was after lunch before they arrived, a sudden clamouring from outside as Pepper leapt from her seat. She'd been on edge all day, muttering speech excerpts under her breath.

"Huh," Jane said. "Well... At least I understand why there were twelve now."

Thor joined her at the window, gazing down at a group of men dressed in what seemed to be ceremonial robes. Ten of them were stood in a line, leaping over a cord that two others were turning through the air in great arcs.

"Well..." Steve said. "I doubt anyone ever expected to see members of the House of Lords playing jump rope. And I suppose we ought to watch Pepper's press conference. She'll want to know how it came across."

She carried herself very well, explaining all this strangeness. She was practically visibly making plans for the pipers due the next day.

\--

Every day another gift. It was lucky that he had access to the realm's near-infinite wealth. This one in particular had been very expensive in terms of bribery.

Fortunately, he'd managed to convince them not to discuss payment - and therefore had given some wildly different amounts - but also that they ought to go along with whatever Miss Potts put forward as an explanation. Very neat and convenient for her. He hoped she was grateful.

He enjoyed the show. The capes reminded him of old plans and dreams, trips that he and Thor had taken to other realms as youths, as ambassadors.

There were particularly good memories of Thor's winter cape, trimmed in white fur and gloriously warm. Loki didn't really feel the cold - and, of course, now he knew why - but he loved that cape. Loved to pull it around his shoulders and bury his nose in it, loved to feel the contrast between the soft fabric and Thor's firm flesh beneath it.

And Thor loved Loki's cape too. Especially after that time he had dressed in nothing else, wrapping it tightly around his body and allowing only a little glimpse of skin behind the green. He'd made Thor be patient, letting one leg out and waiting for Thor to kiss his way up it before giving him more. There'd been a good couple of months where he'd managed to tease Thor mercilessly simply by wearing his cape everywhere.

Would Thor be wearing his cape for their reunion? Had he thought of it, what he might wear? Or was he thinking that it didn't matter so long as they were back together? After all, surely neither of them intended to be clothed for a moment longer than necessary.

Loki brought a finger to his chilled lips. They still tingled a little, both from the memory of Thor's kisses and the yearning for more. Oh, it would be so easy to skip these last two gifts and throw himself into Thor's arms, bask in his love and tell him... The truth? Perhaps, just this once. And then back to Asgard to rule side by side, as they were surely destined to.

But no. He'd set out on this path and he was going to finish.

Which meant he had people to see.


	21. Strangely Quiet

Sometimes - not often, but sometimes - Tony Stark woke early. Far more often, he was still awake from the night before and therefore only appeared to be up early.

But on this day, he was awake before Pepper and taking a morning stroll towards the basement labs, thinking about how much fun today was going to be. Pipers. He was expecting some kind of mini Tartan Day. It would probably be deafening, but that could easily be solved with ear plugs. No, it would be good.

He was therefore a little surprised when a few hours later there was someone outside ringing the doorbell. He hadn't even been aware that they had such a thing. 

"Yes?" he said, confused by a young man with a large tool box standing outside.

"Hello. We're here to have a look at your pipes. The rest are just parking their vans."

"My pipes?"

"Yeah. I don't really get it, but this fancy guy in a suit gave us all little piles of gold if we'd come down and give your water system a once-over. Must be a big job if you need eleven of us!"

He tried to maintain his cheery smile while Tony blinked at him.

"Plumbers," he mumbled eventually. "He's sent eleven people who work with pipes. Of course he has."

There didn't seem to be much else he could do except stand aside and let them in.

\--

The tower was full of cheerful men and women, all laughing and whistling to themselves. Thor wasn't sure what they were doing, but he approved of happiness and job satisfaction, even if their work seemed to be driving Pepper to despair.

"There's nothing wrong with the water system," she insisted. "It's all up to date and working well."

"Oh, you know, we'll just check it."

"But it doesn't need..."

"Ah, see? You've had some right cowboys in here. This is a U68 which is far less efficient than a U75. But don't worry, we can get that changed for you in a jiffy. Kev's just turning the water off."

"He's WHAT?"

There was a clunking sound, the unmistakable noise of a shriek from upstairs and the groans of pipes under strain.

"Ah," Thor said. "I think Jane's shower was just brought to a premature end."

\--

She came downstairs not long afterwards, dressed but with her hair wrapped in a towel and sheepishly asked if he could help her rinse of the remains of her shampoo in the sink.

This was probably not the intended use of Tony's carbonated water, but they only needed a little and this way Jane would not be left with an irritated scalp.

"Are you excited for tomorrow?" she asked, brushing her wet hair back off her face. "I mean, I assume Loki's going to show up in person."

"I hope so," Thor admitted. "But it still doesn't quite feel real. I'm afraid every time I wake up that it will turn out to be a dream. But then usually the goslings start peeping and I know it's not. And that I have to get the seeds out if I value my toes. They are terribly demanding these days."

"They're growing fast. It's only been a few days and already they're getting big."

"They were incubated by Mjölnir. Maybe she's sped up their development."

It distressed him a little, how suddenly awkwardness could descend between them. They had to find safe, neutral topics to discuss. It was maddening.

"Do you like Loki will like them?" Jane asked, trying hard, something he could only be grateful for. "Does he like animals much?"

"Well, he won't be getting a choice about them. I can't leave them by themselves. Not until they're grown and safe among their kind. Which, I suppose, means spending a little more time on Midgard."

"So where will you stay?"

It had been preying on his mind, he had to admit. Could he assume that the hospitality offered to him by Tony and Pepper would extend to Loki also? Wasn't that presumptive? And to inflict Loki on his team-mates... Well, inflict wasn't what he meant, not really, but it was the first word that sprang to mind.

"You could go to my place," Jane said. "I'll be away in Iceland for a couple of weeks after New Year for research. I could stay here until then and you two could... have a little privacy."

It was a very kind offer, even if the idea of taking Loki to his former lover's house was uncomfortable to say the least.

"I'll think about it. Thank you."

He meant the second part at least.


	22. Memories

The water was reactivated several hours later, everyone jumping at the sudden noise and having to hunt through the tower for any taps that had been accidentally left on.

They all seemed to be treating Thor with gentle tones, like he might explode at any moment, and he wasn't sure why.

"They're waiting for you to announce your plans," Wanda said softly in response to his unasked question, coming to sit with him on the couch. "Sorry. I can feel you wondering. It's hard not to overhear sometimes."

"What plans?"

"Well, everyone's realised that you're going to have to stay on Earth for a while because of the geese, but then presumably Loki's going to want to be here with you so in the meantime you'll have to find somewhere to stay."

Thor sighed. The question had been preying on him also.

"Jane has offered her apartment to us," he said.

"But you don't want to go there."

"I don't like the idea of blending those two parts of my life, no. Loki would see reminders of her everywhere and be jealous and she would be worrying about what we might be... doing in her house."

"And you don't want to stay here."

"I want a little privacy."

"Ah."

"No, not... Not just for that. We have much to discuss. I would feel better if we could do that just ourselves."

"You're suspicious?"

"I'm concerned that SHIELD knows quite enough about my business to be going on with. I am their ally, but my first responsibility must always be Asgard. I will share any relevant knowledge with them, of course, but our internal affairs are just that. I cannot become beholden to them."

He'd never actually voiced the thought before, that he had no interest in being a SHIELD employee. He was loyal to them, of course, but only because he was loyal to his friends. They were their own team and even Commander Fury was aware that he couldn't control them. Thor pitied anyone who thought they could.

"In short, I have no idea what my plans are. And even if I did, I'm sure Loki will change them for me."

She smiled at that.

"Tell me about him," she asked. "I only know about the invasion and what the news said. But I'd like to hear about before."

"Well... There's never been a part of my life where Loki was not by my side. Not that I can remember. We grew together, but differently and got into all sorts of trouble. I remember... Oh, centuries ago when we were children and we tried to sneak into a room that was forbidden to us, just to see what was so unsuitable. All we saw were books and scrolls and of course this was almost Valhalla to Loki, some forbidden ancient knowledge had to be inscribed here so I kept watch while he ran for the largest book he could see. And large it was, almost too heavy for him to lift at that age and he laid it on the floor to open it, greedy for the wonders within..."

"What was it?"

"A book of weaving patterns. We were in our mother's private library it turned out, almost entirely dedicated to sewing craft. We were only forbidden for fear that we'd mess up her delicate organising of the texts, which of course we did..."

He insisted that she give him a story about Pietro after that and listened with great interest about how despite being twins, their coming of age ceremonies were in separate years and the chagrin that this caused them at the time. He told her about the first time he and Loki visited another realm. She talked about her memory of first going to school.

He wasn't sure how long they talked, but it felt good to share. It kept his mind from worry. And it kept his heart from bursting every time he remembered that he would have Loki back in his arms tomorrow.

No night had ever felt so long.


	23. Rooftop

"I've been in contact with everywhere I could think of in the whole city that might provide drummers," Pepper said at breakfast. "And none of them report being approached to provide twelve drummers for an event."

Thor was trying not to let his excitement become too obvious, but it was difficult and he was sure he was failing.

"Well, the pipers weren't what we expected," Natasha said. "What other kinds of drums are there?"

"The barrel kind," Tony offered. "Maybe he'll just send booze."

"Drum... Drum up support, drumming song, drum and bass..."

"Stop saying drum."

Thor ended up holding a vigil almost, sitting by the window waiting for any sign of activity. Anyone walking with apparent purpose towards the tower or carrying any large object came under his scrutiny. But there was nothing.

"Where is he?" he found himself muttering over and over, not even aware that he was saying it out loud.

"He's probably planning something suitably huge and sparkly," Clint said from the couch. "You know how he is. Nothing's worth doing if you don't show off when doing it. I'd bet he's watching right now, waiting until you're in just the right state of nervousness and then... Boom."

THUD!

They both looked towards the ceiling where a loud series of bangs seemed to be coming from the roof.

Thor set off at a run, ignoring the lift in favour of sprinting up the stairs. The goslings cheeped angrily at him, unable to keep up, but he could only yell back apologies to them. Not that they understood.

Loki was on the roof. Twelve times he was on the roof, each version of him holding a large drum and beating in rhythm, standing in a ring.

Thor walked around the circle, inspecting each Loki carefully. It was quite obvious what he was supposed to do - find the right one.

Not the first. He didn't feel warm, didn't feel real. Not the second either. Or the third.

He approached the sixth with a sense of hope. This one was different. There was a glint in his eye, a slight blush to his cheeks and despite staring studiously straight ahead, he was clearly trying not to giggle.

Thor stood behind him and ran his hands over his arms. Warm and solid. He could feel Loki shiver and moved closer, into an embrace. The false Lokis vanished one by one, the drumming stopping as he moved one hand up to Loki's face and turned it gently to the side until they were looking into each other's eyes.

"Hello, Loki."

"Hello, Thor."

"Oh, my God, just kiss already!"

Thor hadn't realised that his friends had appeared to find out what the noise was and were watching, but it was an excellent suggestion all the same.

He laid his hands firmly on Loki's hips and turned him. Of course they'd kissed and more only a few days ago, but this felt important somehow, like this was their real reunion. He was almost nervous, glancing down to Loki's lips as they edged ever closer.

And then Loki's patience snapped and he lunged, hands clinging tightly to Thor's shoulders and pressing their mouths together urgently, like they'd never been apart. Like they'd been apart for a lifetime.

When he opened his eyes again, a little flurry of snow had begun to fall, the flakes landing in Loki's hair like diamonds.

"Is this you?" Loki asked. "The snow?"

"No. Just good timing for kisses."

"Mmm. Again."

They probably kissed for only a few seconds, but Thor could happily have carried on forever. It was perfect. If he never had another moment like this ever again, he'd remember this as possibly the happiest moment of his long life.

At least it was perfect right up until the goslings poured out onto the roof and one of them pecked him reproachfully on the ankle.


	24. A Gift Shared

It was strange for Loki to be in the tower. Thor couldn't stop staring at him, touching him, like he was proving to himself that he wasn't dreaming this.

And Loki preened and sighed and waited for Thor to take him to bed and yet he seemed somehow reticent. Nervous.

And they couldn't have that.

"Brother," he purred into his ear. "I've already prepared myself. Though I admire your restraint, I think we've waited long enough."

Thor blushed. Oh, it had been so long since he'd seen that.

"But they... My friends will know what we're doing. And the birds... We should wait for them to sleep."

The Avengers and their associates were being very gracious, he had to admit, letting him in and not trying to kill him. So they tacitly approved of the relationship. Thor had merely grown a little prudish during their time apart.

Sighing, he waved a hand over the goslings, just a gentle sleeping spell. One issue down. And as for the other.

"I hope none of you will mind if Thor and I excuse ourselves for a time."

"If you break the bed," Stark said. "I'll expect you to pay for it."

Loki grinned as Thor spluttered with embarrassment.

"Oh, I am going to punish you for that."

"Mmm. I look forward to it."

\--

Thor felt like a youth again, his hands greedily running over Loki's hips as he steered him down towards his bedroom, pushing him to the wall the moment they were in private.

"I've missed you," he said, the weight of it heavy on his heart.

"And you have me."

Thor's fingers flew over buckles and ties, wanting to touch and kiss every inch of skin revealed to him, to reclaim everything.

And of course his own Midgardian clothing was very easy for Loki to negotiate, off in seconds, the pair of them staring at each other in wonder for slightly too long and laughing when they realised.

"You're so beautiful," Thor said.

Loki said nothing but pushed him backwards until he hit the bed and fell down upon it.

And then he pounced, all lithe muscle and soft lips and for a moment all Thor could do was hold on and try to keep up. It was thrilling, intoxicating and by the time his brain began speaking to him again, Thor was wild with need, gripping Loki tight and rolling them both over.

\--

Loki's back hit the mattress and Thor loomed over him, eyes gone so dark and desperate. He could feel his hands drifting down to his thighs as he eagerly spread them.

And, of course, Thor wouldn't trust him to have prepared sufficiently, his thick fingers slipping into his hole one by one, testing, making sure...

"I'm ready," Loki insisted. "Come on, do it."

"Not yet," Thor murmured, sitting back on his knees and gazing down at him.

He was visibly straining to hold himself back, running his hands up and down Loki's legs before wrapping one around his cock.

Gasping, back arching into the contact, Loki barely heard Thor growling approvingly.

"Yes, that's it. I want you begging for it, I want you turn you into a panting, needy little thing before I give in. A little payback for the past few days."

Loki whined, but smiling with it. He liked the sound of this very much.

At least at first. The third time Thor suddenly released his grip on his cock just when he was getting into the rhythm, Loki decided he'd had enough.

He hadn't been dead for so long just to be teased when he came back to life.

The air was knocked out of Thor's lungs as Loki sat up and shoved, clambering onto him once again and reaching back to grasp his cock with shaking fingers.

"Greedy."

"Yes."

They both moaned when Loki sank down, his hips automatically swivelling slightly as skin met skin, his whole body trembling, overwhelmed. It had been so long since he'd had this. Even his fingers, while satisfying enough, couldn't compare with this feeling of being perfectly and utterly full.

Thor's face swam into view, lips parted around a gasp, his arms wrapping around Loki's back and leaning in for kisses.

It was so good to be back in his embrace, back where he belonged, the space in the universe meant for him that he'd tried so hard to reject. He almost resented this welcome in a strange way. It shouldn't be so easy. It shouldn't feel so right, not after all that happened between them.

And then Thor rolled his hips just a little and Loki's rushing thoughts went blissfully quiet.

"Thor..."

"I know."

\--

He was ready to weep, ready to burst because his heart was so full.

His brother, his darling, his Loki, safe and beautiful in his lap, letting out the sweetest little moans and gasps. Valhalla itself could not provide wonders like this, of that he was sure.

There was much he wanted to say, apologies, words of love and need, but they died in his throat and came out as soft cries, especially as Loki began to take control of their gentle rhythm, lips catching together and breathing almost straight from each other's lungs.

"Too much," Loki stammered. "Oh, too much, I... I need..."

"What? What do you need?"

Scrabbing at his hands, Loki set them firmly on his hips and began to move with purpose, Thor understanding and giving him support, concentrating on him entirely even while pleasure rushed up his spine.

"Come on," Loki murmured. "Please, more..."

Ah, so that was what he really wanted.

Thor gripped him tight and slammed him down.

\--

"Ah! Ah, yes!"

How had he forgotten how this felt? Oh, it was perfect to have Thor's strength directed towards him, to be focussed on bringing him pleasure.

"Like this?"

"Mmm..."

Somehow without breaking their new rough rhythm, Thor pulled him even closer, gazing into his face with such intensity that Loki couldn't bring himself to blink. He wanted to drown in that attention, that devotion, his body clenching tightly and making Thor moan openly. His misgivings were long gone, it seemed.

"Loki..."

"Do it. Do it, fill me."

"You first."

Oh, Thor, always so selfless, pulling Loki's wrist between their bodies so he could take his cock in hand, growing sloppy as they both grew close.

"I'm..."

"Yes..."

"Oh!"

He had to close his eyes then, body shuddering with it, feeling Thor's breath hitch moments later as he followed him over the edge and then his face was seized in both Thor's hands, lashes fluttering against Thor's skin as he tried to return kisses and breathe at the same time and didn't do too well at either.

How long did he sit there, held safe and warm? He wasn't sure. He woke wrapped in blankets and Thor's arms, meeting his brother's soft gaze.

"I fell asleep."

"You were tired. So I cleaned you up and came back for cuddles. You were always more open to that idea when you were sleeping."

He laughed as Loki swatted at his face, rolling over again and letting Thor tuck his body around his.

They'd have to talk eventually. But surely he deserved to stay like this a little longer.


	25. Fly Away Home

_Some time later..._

Thor stood on the roof of Stark Tower, stretching out his arms while the goslings - the geese, now - flapped their wings, eager to be off.

It had been a strange few weeks, to say the least. He and Loki had talked and argued and laughed and shouted and cried a little. He understood why Loki had done what he had, of course, but understanding and forgiving were two separate things. But on the other hand, he couldn't deny that he trusted Loki on this, that he had made the best decisions he could, even if circumstances were not ideal.

They'd stayed in a rented suite of rooms in the end, paying extra so the goslings could come with them. Loki had assumed that they would immediately return to Asgard, but relented soon enough. He had gone back and forth a few times, talking about how he would - as Odin - announce Thor's imminent return, his decision to be more active in the day to day ruling of the realm, organise a feast in celebration, that sort of thing.

And, of course, he'd taken the rings back. To recreate the wealth he'd given out over to the twelve gifts was going to take... ooh, months at least.

"You're sure you know where you're going?" Jane asked for about the 70th time.

Thor tapped his wrist. Tony had provided him with a sort of wearable mapping device that knew the way and would help if he became lost, though he had also studied the route thoroughly in preparation.

"Alright," she said. "Well. Good luck."

She meant for the journey, but he was thinking of the future too as he pulled her into an embrace.

"I'll be back to visit soon," he promised.

"You'd better be."

It was strange to take off at a run, but that seemed to be what geese preferred, so he gave it his best attempt, aiming Mjölnir high and glancing back over his shoulder. One, two, three, four, five, six. Yes, all there.

Of course, this was not technically the right time for migration. They were rather playing catch-up with the birds that had been hatched in more usual seasons. But he had faith, finding the river that had been repeatedly mentioned as the best point of orientation and starting to follow it.

The air rushed by him, fresh and cold, washing away any cobwebs or lingering worries from his brain. This was the way to be, free and in the open air, looking down over the beauty of nature.

They had to land, of course, to sleep. It reminded him of his youth, spending nights wrapped in his cape and eating only what he'd been able to carry or forage, drinking from rushing streams.

Of course, back then he'd had the warmth of his comrades sleeping nearby rather than several geese, but it was nearly the same.

On the last day, the day he felt sure they would reach the goose colony, he became aware of a strange sound. A whirring. It almost sounded like... Like one of the skiffs from home.

He looked around and laughed when he caught sight of Loki steering the air ship, clearly here to surprise him.

"I thought you might be tired," Loki said. "Come on, climb aboard."

Thor flew upwards for a few feet before letting himself drop, landing in a crouch.

"How are your feathery children?"

"They are well, as far as I know," Thor said, moving closer to kiss him. "And I'm very excited to be going home."

Loki hummed slightly, leaning into him as they sat together, Thor's arm around his waist.

"Well, I'm going to have to insist that you bathe as soon as he get back," he said, softly. "You absolutely stink of birds."

"Will you help me wash my hair?"

"Of course," Loki said, apparently not so offended by bird smell that he would object to more kisses.

They continued like that, growing more and more passionate until a slip of Loki's hand made the skiff reel sideways, causing the geese some alarm and they agreed that they should wait until they got home.

That goose colony was an incredible sight. Feathers and beaks as far as they could see, a mass of birds. Yes, they would do well here, though Thor couldn't deny feeling a pang of sadness at seeing his goslings land and move off to be with the others.

"Will they be happy?" he asked, helplessly.

"Of course," Loki said. "They're where they belong. And that's where you need to be too."

Thor considered his words, watching until he could no longer tell at first glance which of these birds had been the ones he had taken care of.

"They mate for life, you know. Geese."

"They don't look like they're mating. Is it a purely telepathic experience?"

He didn't manage to reach the end of his sentence without laughing and Thor threw his arms around him.

"Come on," he said. "Let's go home."

The Bifrost probably wasn't the most sensible place to kiss, but that wasn't going to stop them.

Nothing could stop true love after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we go. Thank you so much for coming with me on this silly festive journey. Hope you enjoyed it!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Loki Claws](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5530166) by [needleyecandy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy)




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